That Terry

The Invitation – Written By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

February 27, 2016May 4, 2020 Author

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

PTSD and 2015

Happy Thursday. I hope you all are having a fine day. Mine is feeling positive right now, especially as I settle in to chat with you and to breathe new life into these pages.

I’ve been ill for over a year now and this account and my blog fell by the wayside. I don’t share much about it while in the throes of uncertainty. Long periods of time can go by before I feel the ability to reach out to continue my work on and off-line.

However, today I acknowledge that I have experienced my post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms to the highest degree. These include panic attacks, depression, insomnia, isolation, estrangement, an inability to concentrate, and introversion. These issues have been huge obstacles for me problems since I was about six or seven. I handle it but privately struggle with its impact every day of my life.

For years, I worried about sharing myself through writing. I don’t want to add negativity and despair to the world, and fight that with everything in me. I would be devastated to learn that a vulnerable person happened across something I wrote and felt worse because of it. That kind of responsibility is scary but all I want is to share with others, teach, and, if possible, to inspire.

I worry too much, don’t you think?